


Stay

by AeonTheDimensionalGirl



Series: I’ve Got You (You’re Safe Now) [6]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Canon Era, Caring Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluffy Ending, Getting Together, Heartbroken Merlin (Merlin), Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sex, Insecure Merlin (Merlin), M/M, One Night Stands, Past Relationship(s), Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:34:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26841469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AeonTheDimensionalGirl/pseuds/AeonTheDimensionalGirl
Summary: Merlin has been used as a one-night stand so many times despite wanting and begging his lovers to stay. When Arthur kisses him, he immediately fears the worst.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: I’ve Got You (You’re Safe Now) [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939345
Comments: 30
Kudos: 840





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

> **PROMPT No 6. PLEASE…**  
>  “Get it Out” | No More | **“Stop, please”**

* * *

I

* * *

The night before he is to leave towards Camelot, Will and Merlin sneak out onto the caves with a wineskin and a blanket.

“I’m going to miss you, Merlin” Will revealed as they both finished drinking the wine, sprawled over the quilt, “You keep this place interesting”

Merlin snorted, swaying slightly as he felt the warm effects of the wine in his system.

“Right” he drawled, “Being ostracized for being the village bastard and treated as a freak keeps things in Ealdor interesting”

“Come on you ass, you know what I meant” Will said as he kicked him on the side, “No more pranks and mischief! Who will be stealing Old Man Simmons’s chickens with me? My Mother?”

“She’ll box your ears” Merlin replied, laughing when Will kicked him again.

“Exactly!” he covered his face with an arm, “My best friend is leaving me behind!”

“I am not!” Merlin laughed, grabbing Will’s arm to uncover his head, “I’ll write to you and mother as much as I can”

“… Is Hunith sure that this grand uncle of yours will be able to help you with your magic?” Will asked after being silent for a bit.

Merlin drew his knees to his chest, biting his lip.

“I- I hope so” he whispered.

“In Camelot” his best friend didn’t exactly hiss, but it was a close thing.

Merlin sighed.

“Yes”

“The lair of the monster under your bed”

“Will”

“Tell me I’m wrong”

“I’ll be _fine_ ”

Or at least, Merlin hoped so.

“It’s not that I’ll walk right into Camelot’s citadel and be immediately executed for sorcery” he added, trying to feel better about the upcoming journey, “Mother wants me to also become Gaius’s apprentice” he added excitedly.

“Well I’ll be dammed” Will said in a dry tone, “The bastard got himself a job”

“The bastard wasn’t going to be employed anywhere in Essetir” Merlin defended, “Camelot is a new opportunity for me” he insisted.

He knew it.

Next to him, Will sighed.

“I still don’t want you to go”

“I know”

They look over each other.

And Will kisses him.

And Merlin answers back.

They’re both clumsy at it at the end. They’ve never been with anyone, so take the opportunity to learn with each other with intimate touches that make them get rid of their clothes and lie on the blanket as they sigh and moan-

Merlin wakes alone.

Confused, for a moment he wonders if the encounter was a dream, but his clothes are thrown right next to him and he’s naked.

“Will?”

He gets no answer.

Merlin clumsily searched for and put on his clothes in the darkness, exiting the caves and walking towards his home, using the moon as his guiding light.

All the while, he calls Will’s name in shouted whispers, beginning to feel dread take over him as the only answering sound continues to be the crickets.

_“Merlin!”_

The raven breathes a sigh of relief when he sees Will waiting next to his house. Quickly, he walks towards him.

“Why did you leave?” he asked, worry on his tone as he went to place his hand over Will’s shoulder-

“Oh- er”

Will evaded his touch, not looking at him.

“Merlin- listen- you know you’re my best friend, right?”

“Will, you’re my only friend” Merlin deadpanned. Will nodded, in a familiar way that immediately warned Merlin that he was not going to like what he said next.

“Canweforgetaboutlastnight?”

The raven blinked, the stone of dread in his stomach dragging itself further.

“I… What?” he whispered.

Will sighed.

“Can we forget about last night?” he finally asked in a clear voice, still avoiding the raven’s eyes.

“Why?” Merlin asked, taken aback.

“… I’m planning on courting Elizabeth” Will revealed, making the raven’s breath hitch, “And- Merlin, we were drunk”

“But it happened!”

“And you should forget it, as I plan on doing”

Merlin stared at him, dumb-folded, trying to ignore the stinging behind his eyes.

“Fine” he spat.

And he pushed Will out the way, walking inside his home, feeling devastated.

Merlin left Ealdor without looking back.

* * *

II

* * *

Ewan winks and flirts with Merlin almost constantly since he was appointed as Prince Arthur’s manservant.

His touches are always lingering and his words are sweet, and Merlin finds himself quite interested and curious over what else Ewan can do with his hands and his mouth.

The opportunity is granted a fortnight later, after helping Arthur kill the Afanc.

Merlin has just exited Gwen’s house, having dropped in for a visit to make sure she was alright after her brief stay in the dungeons, when he bumps into Ewan.

“If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable” Ewan said with a smirk.

Merlin snorted.

“Gods, that was fucking terrible”

“I know” the servant smirked, “But the offer stands”

Merlin tilted his head, ignoring how his stomach flips with nerves as he replays the conversation.

“The offer?”

“Fucking” Ewan whispered, leaning closer until their noses bumped with each other, “George is out visiting his mother, so my room in the servants quarters in empty”

And with that said, he kissed him, and Merlin enthusiastically returns the kiss.

It’s not the same as Will.

They don’t explore each other’s bodies, not knowing what they’re doing.

Ewan knows exactly what he’s doing and Merlin allows him to lead all the way.

It’s a night full of pleasure that Merlin would not mind at all repeating, especially if Ewan does that little trick with his tongue again-

When he wakes, Ewan is not there-

And when he reaches out to him, Ewan ignores him.

“Don’t get this wrong, it wasn’t unpleasant” the servant finally reveals when Merlin corners him two days later, feeling at his wits end, “Quite good actually”

“Then why are you avoiding me?” Merlin asked, confused and hurt.

Ewan stared at him, amused.

“You thought it was going to happen again?” he asked, “I thought it was obvious that I only wanted a good fuck”

Merlin staggered back, feeling as if he’d been slapped.

“But I’m sure the stable boys would offer their services, I did tell them how much of a good lay you are” Ewan said with a shrug.

Merlin stared at him.

“You told them?” he asked faintly.

“Yeah, they been curious if anyone as ugly as you is a good fu-”

Ewan didn’t get to finish his sentence, for Merlin punched him in the face.

He didn’t speak to Ewan ever again.

* * *

III

* * *

Lancelot sleeps in his bed after being bullied by Merlin to do so.

“But where will you sleep?” he asked, bewildered as he watches the raven get some extra blankets Gaius keeps for the patients from the workroom.

“On the floor” Merlin replied with a smile.

“I can’t let you do that!” Lancelot exclaimed, aghast. Merlin couldn’t help the chuckle at his expression.

The man is charming and noble, and wishes above anything to be a Knight of Camelot.

The warlock likes him.

“I’m used to it” Merlin says, smiling.

“Absolutely not” Lancelot shakes his head, “Get in”

“Lance-”

“Come on, we both have little meat in our bodies, we’ll fit”

Sighing, Merlin dropped the blankets and reluctantly sat on the bed.

“It’s really no trouble” he murmured, but got under the blanket.

In a half a candle mark, the warlock doesn’t know how it began and who even started it, but one moment they were talking, and the next they were snogging each other, Merlin on top of the aspiring Knight and grinding his hips down while Lancelot murmurs and gasps praises between kisses.

As Lancelot help him get rid of his sleep tunic and began unlacing his breaches, Merlin discreetly places a silencing spell on the room.

He gets the feeling that Gaius will not appreciate the noises.

When Merlin wakes up alone again, he nearly cries in frustration, but then he hears Lancelot’s voice through the door, and forces himself to relax.

The warlock begins to have a kindle of hope as Lancelot greets and smiles at him while they break their fast before making way to Gwen’s house for the aspiring Knight to have his measurements taken for the chainmail and surcoat and-

He feels numb when he witnesses Lancelot lie eyes on Gwen for the first time, a bestowed look on both of their faces as they shyly converse with each other with rosy cheeks.

When the aspiring Knight catches his eye and gave him an expression of regret, Merlin gives him a watery smile before nodding.

He lets Lancelot go.

* * *

IV

* * *

Freya was a mistake.

Alright, that sounded wrong, Merlin will admit it, as well as an insult to her memory.

Freya was… an attempt at feeling normal.

For both of them.

It began as he gave her the rose, having failed to conjure the strawberries she had shyly asked for.

After both of them laughed about it, they simply held each other, trading stories of difficult childhoods and feeling like monsters.

All the while, Merlin felt at ease with Freya. It was nice to talk about feeling cursed with someone who understood.

But a part of him didn’t allow himself to fully relax in her presence. There was something missing in the little hideout, the atmosphere.

As if Freya wasn’t the person he was meant to be with, despite liking her.

When they kiss, it feels… dry.

It’s not the same as kissing Will, Ewan and Lancelot.

It felt as weird as when Gwen kissed him.

“You didn’t like that, did you” Freya whispered when they break the kiss.

“Nonono, it’s not that-! I- er” Merlin says in panic, not wanting to make her feel bad and also feeling guilty himself.

But she silences him with a finger to his lips.

“It’s alright” she said sadly while smiling, “You don’t have to pretend with me, Merlin”

“And what if I want to pretend with you” he asked, “What if I just want to be normal with you?”

“But that’s the problem” Freya said, still with that sad smile, “We’re not normal, Merlin”

She held his face on his hands, and he did the same.

“I would like you to be happy” Merlin revealed, “But I’m not going to make you happy, am I?”

“You’ve made me happy, you’ve made me feel cared for after being abandoned for so long-” Freya replied with a little grin, “And I am sure I’ve made you happy. But even if we ran off together- do you see a future with us as lovers?”

He wanted to say yes.

But in truth, he did not.

“I see a future in which we’re friends” Merlin shyly admitted.

“That’s a good future” she whispered, smile bittersweet.

“I’m still taking you away from Camelot” Merlin promised, “I’ll made sure you’re safe and sound, and I’ll visit you and grow you strawberries” he added smiling.

“Alright” Freya murmured, eyes distant.

He kisses her one more time, as a goodnight.

And days later, she died feeling loved in his arms.

* * *

V

* * *

When he meets Gwaine, Merlin is not sure if he was the one who seduced or the one who _got_ seduced.

They both talk so much between them that it’s left on mystery.

What he does know- is that Gwaine is a fucking master at- well- _fucking_.

It’s hard and intense and they go at it so many times in one night that by the end of it Merlin doesn’t know how they’ll both walk tomorrow without giving away their activities.

He’s pleasantly seated when they finally stop, feeling out of breath and sweaty as sleep settles onto him, Gwaine’s naked body a warm presence on his back-

Only to wake up in the dark of night by a hissed curse and a cold bed.

Gwaine was hurriedly putting his clothes on, avoiding looking in Merlin’s direction.

“Where are you going?” the warlock whispered, feeling his heart on his throat as Gwaine flinches and turns to give him an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry, but this was a mistake” Gwaine whispered.

Merlin felt his heart shatter into tiny pieces.

“What?”

“Listen, you were great” Gwaine said, raising his hands, “The best fuck of my life, I believe. But I can’t stay in Camelot”

“Gwaine-” Merlin begged, feeling tears form on his eyes.

“I never stay long in one place, Merls” he whispered, “And that means staying with a person too, no matter how gorgeous or amazing they are”

“You could try to stay” Merlin cried soflty, “I want you to stay”

Gwaine stayed silent, looking at him sadly.

“I’m sorry, Merls” he gently placed a kiss on quivering lips, “But I can’t”

And he left.

Merlin cries himself to sleep that night, and vows to never again have his heart played.

* * *

+I

* * *

Merlin forgets his vow three years later, when Arthur kisses him.

The warlock can’t remember when he felt this elated and happy as he tastes the sweet wine on his King’s lips, runs his fingers through golden locks, and caresses broad shoulders as Arthur pushes him gently onto his bed-

And Merlin freezes.

No.

Not again.

“Stop” he begs, tears automatically beginning to sting behind his eyes as he remembers the previous times, “Arthur, stop, _please!_ ”

He doesn’t mean to push the blond away with magic, but he does it anyway.

In a blink the King is a foot away from him, looking at with confusion and worry.

“Merlin?” he whispers with perplexity as he begins to approach the distressed warlock, “Merlin what’s wrong?”

“I refuse to do this again” Merlin cried hotly, curling onto himself, “I will not be used, and I will certainly not be used by you!”

“Used- Merlin what are you talking about?” Arthur asked, frowning with hurt, “I’m not using you, I-” he faltered, “I kissed you because I wanted to”

Merlin laughed, a cruel sound that he never though himself capable of making coming out before glaring at the shocked King.

“For the night, maybe, but I've been there before; come morning it will be _‘We’re never doing this again’_ or _‘It was a mistake’_ ” Merlin snarled, not caring for his tears, “And I can’t- I won’t handle it- not from you” he sobbed, “Not from the man I love”

The warlock then got out of the bed, practically running towards the doors to get out of the suffocation room-

A hand enclosed itself on his wrist. Merlin sobbed.

“Arthur, let me go” he pleaded.

“Please hear me out”

Heaving between sobs, Merlin’s knees gave out; and he was pulled into a hug before he could crash onto the floor.

The King held him as he cried, and only spoke when the warlock’s tears began to subside.

“Merlin” Arthur whispered softly into his ear, “Listen to me, and please, listen carefully”

Merlin shuddered in the hold, but nodded, closing his eyes.

“I kissed you because I have feelings for you and finally decided to act on them” the King revealed, “I kissed you because I’ve nearly lost you so many times without knowing, and if you were to die life would lose meaning. I kissed you because you’re funny, wise, selfless, brave, loyal, and the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on” he gently broke the hug slightly to stare at Merlin, eyes fierce and tender, “I kissed you because I love you”

Merlin stared at him, feeling shocked.

“You love me?” he whispered, hope beginning to bloom on his chest as the King smiled.

“With all my heart” Arthur gently said, caressing his cheek and wiping away the warlock’s tears, “I’m sorry you had to go through so much heartbreak, but Merlin-” he pressed their foreheads together, “I swear that I speak the truth”

And Merlin believed him.

The raven hesitated for a moment before kissing the blond, who tenderly returned it, letting it go unhurried and meekly maintaining it.

When they broke apart, Arthur gathered him into his arms, lifting him towards the bed, this time gently laying Merlin onto his side before joining him and pulling him back into an embrace.

“Can- can we not do anything tonight? Can we just stay like this? You holding me?” Merlin shyly asked.

Arthur smiled softly at him, before pressing a lingering kiss on his lips.

“Of course” he whispered.

Merlin stayed on Arthur’s bed from that day forward, spending every night in his King’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Ngl, originally this was going to be with all the Knights of the Round Table, but the idea was not settling well with me for this prompt, so I replaced Leon, Elyan and Percival with Will, Ewan and Freya.


End file.
